Ughhhh

So I think that a blog or online journal is the place where I just let myself loose. I can be frank and open and honestlt not care what anyone thinks - Its so I can unwind. So I guess I need to unwind from a very very bad day! So the day started out good - had spent the night at Kelly's - saw Willow - I totally do not remember seeing that as a kid - its actually a great movie! It was a fun night in general - so idea that my next day would suck as much as it has. Oh how innocent I was. So I got up and came home and did small stuff I needed to do around the house. I called NMSI and git directions to where I'm moving. I also found out where I'm living. I'm living on a couch in a crowded apartment for like a month or something - could be shorter but I honestly tuned out when I heard the word couch! I guess I'm disapointed and upset about it - I was set on a room and space of my own. I'm not getting that so I guess I'll have to deal somehow. I also found out that once I do get a room then I have a roommate for another 3 months - which could be cool but I kinda told them in September that I needed space...I guess its a pride thing. Uhmm then I found out that my church is only supporting me a year and the lady was kinda rude about what I'm doing. Which I guess will be fine and I'll deal in the upcoming year with everything with that - just a not ok day to hear it. They said I need to be on the field if they were to support me. PRESSURE! Then I talked to my roommate and cried becasue she's pretty much wonderful and I'm finally dealing with leaving. She so incredible and has no idea. Boys are lucky that she notices them at all...she deserves the best - I mean the very best...I may be far away but I can still look after her - she's my precious after all. Then Shari came over - why must I be related to her at all...why????? well needless to say we fought and it sucked - I did not cuss or anything! I did raise my voice and locked myself in the bathroom. I realized that the bathroom floor was a place growing up where God and I talked alot. The bathroom in my house has cabneits that pull out to lock it securely...the only room in the house one can;t break into. I used to hide there when Micheal (my ex step dad) was drunk and angry. Then when my brother used to get mean and violent I locked my self in there too - it was my sactuary if you will. It was my place I would cry out to God in dispair...my desert place. How long oh Lord kind talk - wanna know what I realized God did deliver me - just took awhile but he did. He blest me with Kelly and her family to take care of me. They always made sure I was at church or had a safe place...then I had college to be safe and distanced at. Now I have Florida. I also realized how stubborn I am - if I don't wanna - I don't until I want to...huge pride to - so yeah...ist been a bad day...but its over now...its now a choice wheither to leave yesterday behind me and start a new one a fresh