Truth and Purity

I realize that the Bible says the truth will set you free but I guess I learning more about truth at the moment. Man all I feel like I do is whine lately...I'm not trying to...Life just keeps bring one thing after another after another. I was well given some crappy news today that made me both angry and embaressed at the same time. I just wanted to scream and yell - it was my right not o tell about something - If I had wanted it known I would have told it myself. I was embaressed becasue it was of personal nature that is a side of me that I don't have the greatest confidence in. I was hurt in the fact that I never got to explain myself - or my feelings - someone took that away from me - now they will never be truely understood. So on Monday on the way home from work I was chattin it up with God while I was driving and I asked God to smack me in face with wither or not he wanted me in New Zealand. So yeah uhmm I am taking this all as a NZ is a no go for the moment - which is nice but sucky to know. I mean I love it dearly but at this moment and I realize that this is the hurt speaking it is the last place I want to be at the moment - nice change because it has been the only place I wanted to be for quite some time. I don't know if I'm over reacting or over anylazing everything like I tend to do. I got to call my Best friend Kelly from home and just just let me weep and she even cried right along with me - man God has blessed me with amazing an woman. It was freeing to just let it go - didn't think I was as hurt as I was - funny what happens when you let yourself just feel what happens. i went out to dinner with Hannah and Missy - felt bad cause I was poor company. I even went to the soccer game to cheer on Steven- and yet again I was poor company. Went to walmart and bought a beautiful canvas to poor my feelings onto - man I'll create some crappy art tonight :) I don't know why but being creative sooths my feelings. In NZ when everything was crap with Carrie I was able to make these scroll things and posters for girls night - man it felt good. Something about just letting myself go and just expressing is well...purifing to me.