Birthday me! Isn't this teh coolest picture ever! 

Auckland - where my heart is at this moment! 

Scattered

So yeah you know when God's starting to do something to your heart but you don't know what- yeah so thats me right now. I know God is trying to break down all the walls I've built up around myself. Hmmm I just wish I got it - I mean I am so dense sometimes. So yeah its hard right now --hard but in a really good way. My roommate Megan and Tara (who's basically a roommate) and I started to pray everynight at 11 - it was really good last night. Uhmm so yeah my body totally slept in today - now I get to work - yeahhh money! Then out withe the CSF house - even better! So I'll get some sweet as Jesse and Joshie time - ohh how I heart them.
Why does God put amazing people in ones life as I'm are leaving ---whyyyyyyy!!!!!!
Yesterday was a happy day - I laughed a lot!

What's goin on

I HAVE A JOB!!!!! I'm going to work for New Missions Systems International in their affiliation and support department - heck yes I'm excited. Ok so I'm glad to have a job but I'm mostly glad that I have the next step. I've been so confused about everything that I've not been really living my life. Ok so I'll do this for like the next 2 years and then reevaluate. Man I'm scared of failing - everyone keeps pointing out that the odds are against me - 10% only stay in ministry - 50% of all missionaries leave after their first term - I don't want this to be me. I want to press on! I am sad that I won't be doing campus ministry or youth ministry- they are my loves but maybe I can get involved in a church. Why won't my secret dream of being a minister's wife leave ---I can't bank on that - I have to have my own ministry---I'm single with no prospects and yet... Its way frustrating! God is really convicting me about my relationship - or lack there of with Him. How did I get this far away and how do I get back to Him. I realize that I crave Him and yet fill my time with distractions. Why and I so lazy and scared of Him? Makes one wonder!

So the intuder came back this weekend - these 2 girls chased him out of the dorms -- way brave of them. They are like way tiny girls too! Dave Legg came to the dorms last night to talked to us about it -- man that guy is awesome - I just see him and my heart melts --not in a bad way but he is so precious and well Dave...Oh to be a guy so I could be his bff (best friend forever)!

I've been listening to the funniest comedian Bryan Regan - so funny - I cried and snorted when I heard him! Also been burning Brooke Fraser for everyone - will spread the love of the kiwiness! My roomie and I have been hanging out a lot - man she's funny - can't think of anything at the moment. Ohh well we both aren't the smartest students but we learned our two minds together equal one smart person. So "cabin time" has been fun to say the least!