So I was driving home tonight from work blasting some great ghetto songs - I so love Usher - man that guy can sing...and the duet with Alicia Keys - so wonderful!!! Ohh I like to belt it out like a black diva -- my true self comes out - good thing I'm alone - its scary and bad and yet soooo fun. So yeah work called me in and I was like heck yeah I'll be in!!! So yeah got nothing done again today. Spent the morning with Jondra - man she is wonderful - the Brewers crack me up! I'm so glad I can hang out at my professors house and that my advisor's wife (Jondra) is so awesome! I'm puppy sitting for them tommorrow -a beautiful yellow lab - Jasmine! It was love at first sight! It sucks I can't get any animals til I know what my future holds. I want one - ok 2- a cat and dog! So yeah so I was driving back and I was singing...when I was singing along with Usher's burn and for some wierd way it triggered a long trail of thought that ended with my wonderful roommate, Megan. Oh when will she return to me - she is enjoying beautiful sunny Florida. I'm here in rainy and cold Tennessee. I miss her!!!! Funny how you start to want to tell a person something and then remember theya ren't there to tell. So its 4 more days till she returns - yeah yeah! I can do this! I'm going to Thanksgiving with Sam and Kathy Darden my campus minister ahd family - should be great southern food. The only bad thing about not going eating with the fam is comfaring it to mom's food. I swear I will not compare tommorrow - just relax and enjoy! Ohhhh on the plus so all this alone time has me and God time at an al time good - I get excited to talk to him. Man this fridge in this apartment makes scary noises. It just made one adn I jumped - I'm naturally a scardy cat - I just act brave! Happy Thansgiving. I'm tying to be grateful for all the many blessings I have been given!
Thursday, November 25, 2004
Wednesday, November 24, 2004
The good the bad and the ugly
So I really don't know why I've titled it this but it seems to fit my holiday so far. The good is that I've had some awesome time with Jesse and Josh. The bad is that everytime we hang out I keep thinking man in 4 weeks this is goin end and I'm moving away - how will I live without them! Don't wanna -ehnnnn (whinie voice) The ugly is well just how totally bored I am ...I've got plenty to do - so many assignments and what not but I'm so unmodivated to do them. I did get to talk to my mentor Ginny today, good convo! I found out my church isvoting on December 1st ---a week away and I know how much support I need! My bestfriend is throwing me an apartment party ---yeahhh apartment stuff! So excited to have an apartment - goin be soo cute and comfy. I've painted a few pictures this semester for it! The only bad thing is that I paint when I'm upset so its like here's the painting when blah blah blah happened. Uhmm so yeah I also realized I can never live alone- this apartment thing is killing me this week! It could also be that no on eis here but still....I hate this. I decided that if I am an old maid I'm so getting a cat --yess I'll be the scary old single cat lady ---dare to dream!!! perrrrfect. uhmm so yeah, I'm 3 credits short for graduation - so I'm looking for a corespondence class to take - ughhh wanted to be done. So on a more serious note... on saturday night some wierd stuff went down in Hannah's apartment. Some serious spiritual warefare - I'll admidt I got the heck out of Dodge! I went and spent the night at Jesse's. She's such a good friend - she had a bed all ready for me and we were able to talk and pray through it. Man it sucked and I just wish that kind of stuff didn't happen to me...but it does and I just have to deal. Other than that I got some bad news AJ's grandpa is dying of cancer - thats all I know! Man you know those times you just want to be there for someone and just hug them and sit with them - I feel like that for him! I can only image how he is feeling at the moment! So thats about it here - ohh so I saw teh movie envy with Ben Stiller and Jack Black - not so great! The music totally sucked and was hardcore annoying! I'm actually wishing Heather was here right now! I called her tonight in Auckland but alas she wasn't home - so sad!
Friday, November 19, 2004
Friday, November 12, 2004
Slipping
So last night I slept like crap! I feel bad becasue my blog has become moan fest! I don't know why I'm so pissy at the moment - I should be pmsing for like another week. Well things with Kristen are well kind of better - she's going to live with my mom. So thats better...then this morning I get a call from my mom right before chapel...my older sister, Shari, 24...has been digainosed with Thyroid cancer that has wrapped itself around her vocal cords. Yeah, so I'm honestly kind of numb at the moment. I just really don't know what to do - I've prayed a lot...She's got 3 kids and is a single mom. I know this sounds wrong but why does all of this happen to my family - is it that I'm more vocal about it? I guess I'm kind of angry at God - yet not angry - I don't know. I did on the brighter side finished my budget!!! Its about 450 over what I wanted it to be...sucky! But its done - I feel like a budget guru now!!! Now if I can stick to it!!!!! Its hard to change your spending habits! I still can't beleive I'm almost done...kinda scared. I mean FL is like my life for 2 years and is my job. I pray I can do this. I guess I feel kinda beat up at the moment - I don't know why..I'm praying more and spending more time with God...I don't even know how to explain it...even last night something way creepy happened to me. I was laying in bed - I will admidt it was the first night in a while I had not prayed and all the sudden I felt this hand on my shoulder and pulled my blanket tighter around my side.....wierd...I froze..blankets don't just move...presure just doesn't happen!!!! So I then prayed and prayed and prayed...have no idea what it was or anything all I know is this ...fear does not come from God and that God is love and that love drives fear away... It was not a good loving touch! It was a cold firm ...hey I'm here what are you goin do kind of move. Told my roommate and she handled it better...we're goin pray tonight.
Monday, November 08, 2004
I'm not dead I swear
Hi, so its been awhile - no this blog is not dead - its alive and well. You know when your like ohh I'll update tommorrow - well I've been saying that for like the past month. So my past month ...so many highlights to mention -(I can't think of any at the moment). Oh well we had soccer regional - we made Steven shirts - Mine had mullet Steven! There were four of us - mullet. bald, cowboy, and mohawk Steven...what happens when I get a picture - it ends up on a teeshirt! That was a good day! Then we had a progressive dinner - where we went from house to house and ate a different part of a meal at each one - fun! Uhmm another highlight was Hannah'd birthday party. It was a surpise and had a pinyata - a bull! it was a themed coyboy party and was fun! I made a doughnut cake for it! It was so much fun! Then another Highlight has been living with Megan - ohh the cabin time we have had! I have laughed so much! I wonder if I can ever live with another person ever! She completes me! We had this improvto dance party where I tried to teach her my "move" and well it was funny! my sides hurt from laughing! It was great she has this bad Christian techno cd - joy electric! It is sooooo awesome - I love it! Heck I'm listen to it right now! "I get a sugar rush thinkin of you too much" so good! circle turn pump pump - thats my move - my secret is out! Uhmm then all teh quality time I've had with Jesse - she is amazing can I just say that. She is my best friend - for real! She give too much! and she's freakin funny to boot! ohh how I love my jessebelle! Uhmm then there was Fall retreat - where I was way crabby and pissy! Didn't want to be but was....It was good! Steven organized this prayer walk and that and the campfire after it were my favorite times of the weekend. Dang he is one gifted man! Uhmm and Josh farted on me - ohh I will fart back and it WILL rock him - it on and the gloves are off - no holding back! Then I've had some great convos with people - there is nothing in the world like a great convo - so satisfying! I've been kinda sick forever - my ears are clogged at the moment and it sucks hardcore - can'y hear! Uhmm then this past friday night I spent the night at Jesse's "flat" and then went to a UT football game - they played Notre Dame! I had soooooo much fun - it was crazy! over 100,000 people packed into an arena! I felt like I was in gladiator! I cheered and screamed and sang along with the masses! It was awesome. I'ma tad sunburned and tired but it was fun! Then I got home and my lil sister had emailed me and said that she got her papers served to her - its offical she's being charged with a felony for posession. It could be Juvenille hall for a year and get on her offical record. My mom has asked me to take her to Florida with me. I'm honestly torn on this issue and upset! I mean why aren't her parents stepping up and should I. I honestly feel like I should - but with being on support and can I...I mean I'm only 23 how can I raise my 15 yearold sister? I want to be honest but can I? Man I'm never going to meet someone. I prayed with Steven tonight and he asked me well wahts hold ing you back - and I told him that. I mean that is really an issue - is it selfish that I want a life. then I hear in the back of my head that its not my life to control! So confused about this! It breaks my heart!
So thats whats been goin on - with a lot more craziness between!
So thats whats been goin on - with a lot more craziness between!
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