Slipping

So last night I slept like crap! I feel bad becasue my blog has become moan fest! I don't know why I'm so pissy at the moment - I should be pmsing for like another week. Well things with Kristen are well kind of better - she's going to live with my mom. So thats better...then this morning I get a call from my mom right before chapel...my older sister, Shari, 24...has been digainosed with Thyroid cancer that has wrapped itself around her vocal cords. Yeah, so I'm honestly kind of numb at the moment. I just really don't know what to do - I've prayed a lot...She's got 3 kids and is a single mom. I know this sounds wrong but why does all of this happen to my family - is it that I'm more vocal about it? I guess I'm kind of angry at God - yet not angry - I don't know. I did on the brighter side finished my budget!!! Its about 450 over what I wanted it to be...sucky! But its done - I feel like a budget guru now!!! Now if I can stick to it!!!!! Its hard to change your spending habits! I still can't beleive I'm almost done...kinda scared. I mean FL is like my life for 2 years and is my job. I pray I can do this. I guess I feel kinda beat up at the moment - I don't know why..I'm praying more and spending more time with God...I don't even know how to explain it...even last night something way creepy happened to me. I was laying in bed - I will admidt it was the first night in a while I had not prayed and all the sudden I felt this hand on my shoulder and pulled my blanket tighter around my side.....wierd...I froze..blankets don't just move...presure just doesn't happen!!!! So I then prayed and prayed and prayed...have no idea what it was or anything all I know is this ...fear does not come from God and that God is love and that love drives fear away... It was not a good loving touch! It was a cold firm ...hey I'm here what are you goin do kind of move. Told my roommate and she handled it better...we're goin pray tonight.